Always tried my best through the good times and bad. Then no one really notices when you are fading away.
Yes...that's a real eyeopener. It does make it easier to fade that way but it hurts just the same doesn't it ? Like you, after 25 years active and regular at the same Hall, it took 3.5 years before anyone noticed we were gone. The Circuit Overseer and an Elder friend of mine showed up at our door one rainy Saturday morning. He said, " I understand you folks have been missing quite a few meetings lately and we wanted to see if we could encourage you in any way". He was shocked and embarrassed to find out that I was a former Bethelite and both my wife and I lost our fathers at early ages, from not taking blood. My father was only studying at the time and the JW's convinced him to sign the no blood papers. The nonsensical blood fraction rule came out just shortly after he died and fractions would have saved him or at least made him realize how feeble the JW's reasoning on the blood doctrine is. Also, our young Son was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks after he and his fiancé' were unfairly disfellowshipped after having gone to the elders about a matter that they (like most) could have easily kept to themselves. I told the C.O that the last meeting we all attended was the Memorial over 3 years ago and the entire congregation shunned our Chemo ravaged son who they've known since babyhood and they rushed up and welcomed visiting strangers with open arms. I told him no one had even called us or looked in on us and if it wasn't for our worldly neighbors and Coworkers, we'd have been alone. I'm sure the Elder friend got an earful on the ride back to the Hall.
The other thing you find out is that the "world" isn't watching JW's and doesn't hate JW's. In fact, after all these decades of door to door work, they barely know who JW's are and are either very open minded about them or couldn't care less about them .
Anyway...sorry this happened but you sound pretty well adjusted already and it seems as if you were able to make a break of it quite quickly. The best thing you can do to cement your resolve is to disprove everything they've taught you, using their own literature. JWfacts.com is a good place to do that.
There is a mourning period that takes place after leaving and like any other form of mourning, they say it's best to allow/expect a month of mourning for every year you were involved with whomever or whatever it is you lost. I've found that to be true and have found that there is life after the JW's.